Mixed relations.

Transracial adoptees, I’m assuming you’ve all had or have relationships with people of another race. Has that been an issue? How has that affected you? Please share your thoughts on the past, present, and future of mixed relations in your life.

One thought on “Mixed relations.

  1. My first boyfriend was white when I was 14yo. From age 15 – 24 I dated a Vietnamese man. I love the Vietnamese culture, food, people, language, country, the dresses are beautiful! I felt normal among the Vietnamese people. I fell more in love with his culture rather then him as a person. My next boyfriend was from Kenya and I ended up marrying him (26-28yo) which did not last long. Just a couple months after we were married I learned he was here in the US on a student visa. His plan to become a citizen was put on hold though because I was not a US citizen due to my parents never finishing the adoption paperwork. So, basically I had to apply and go through the process as if I was an immigrant. He did not want to divorce me until I became a citizen and then he applied for his citizenship. As far as culturally, we stuck out like a sore thumb but I didn’t even notice or care because I was use to being different in a white family and being stared at. I was the only Korean that had one white dad and one black dad but no Asian dad….I would joke. The black-American woman resented me for taking ‘their’ man and the Kenyan woman and I got along great! The next long term relationship was with a man that was half Egyptian/half Italian man (28 to 34 yo) His whole family lived out of the country and when we where dating the whole 9-11 tragedy happened so he was facing a lot of racism. He had a Muslim name (his dad was Egyptian) and he looked more Arab. He moved to New York when he was in his late teens to play professional soccer so he had a very odd accent (New York, Italian, Arabic accent) and it was I who had to translate to everyone what he was saying. Next relationship he was Italian but his mother and brother both lived in Italy. He was probably the only full blooded Italian in the state. He never wanted to hang around with me in public, which I don’t know why. We remain friends but when I asked why he even dated me he said he was curious. My last boyfriend who now is my wonderful husband is half-Asian (from his dad side) and half-white. To protect his identity I am not stating his Asian ethnicity. (From age 37 to forever!) He is absolutely perfect for me! He is more so white (what I identify myself inside as) but has enough Asian qualities in him that he is understanding (besides being a good friend and very loving). When he was little he was made fun off growing up in a mostly white society and having to deal with people’s racism and prejudice attitudes. I now am enjoying having an Asian Dad! When I first met him he was so talkative and outgoing speaking perfect English! I got very emotional after our first meeting….I felt like a family after that…like he was already my dad. I know its weird but I think Adoptees maybe the only ones who can identify….I guess as far as advice, successful relationships is someone you are compatible with, who you respect and vice versa, and of course….communication….

Adoptees, what do you think? We welcome your replies!

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