My daughter has asked me for assistance, and I thought it would be good to ask the community here:
It seems that in every era since International Adoption became a thing, that it’s become a consideration for family planning, especially among the socially conscientious. Today it’s become the defacto solution for those who are interested in starting a family yet concerned about overpopulation. It is quickly introduced with little thought about its genesis, and most issues surrounding adoption — especially regarding the child’s perspective and emotional well-being — are dismissed as due to parental failure; and of course idealistic potential parents’ awareness and sensitivity would trump any issues. If issues are acknowledged at all, there seems to be an awareness of only the most stark or sensational; while the general population doesn’t stop to consider present day class issues, colonial legacy, geo-political, social injustice, etc. issues that create orphans. And those who might be well-versed and sympathetic to gender dysphoria and other gender identity issues have very little understanding or sympathy for adoptee identity issues, etc., etc.
She knows that this is a complicated subject, but how can its complexity be introduced to those seeking to better the world? Nobody likes to think of their good intentions as savior fantasies, sometimes adoption is a good thing, and yet often it is at somebody’s expense: born of trauma that is hard to address it is like a many-headed mythical hydra. There is only one popular narrative that seems to dominate discussions, and that narrative is driven by desire. We are concerned about limited resources and contributing to a more sustainable planet, we are concerned about children having to grow up in institutions, and we should be more concerned about the definition of family and reproductive choices being a reflection of a just society and we are not convinced adoption is the the best solution to all those things. How can we separate the idea of orphans (not babies) in institutions from the transferring of the relinquished babies from one mother to different parents? How can we introduce the humanity of the mother with empty arms? How can she move the discussion into something that is more thoughtful and nuanced? So her friends can make more educated decisions?
She asked me for something succinct or digestible that would be enlightening, like an adoption 101. Any help appreciated.