We are, I believe, currently witnessing the adoption equivalent of the resurgent and unapologetic racism and classism found elsewhere in society as white supremacy and fascism “unstructure” themselves and present fully within dominant discourses. By this I mean to say that there are adopters who present themselves as “perfected caregivers”, despite issues of race or class. There are adopters who no longer hide their loathing of the children temporarily in their care. They no longer feign guarding their privacy, or pretend that they are acting beneficently or charitably. They no longer are attempting to uphold their expected performance.
Category Archives: Advice: Adoptee 2 Adoptee
My daughter has asked me for assistance, and I thought it would be good to ask the community here: It seems that in every era since International Adoption became a thing, that it’s become a consideration for family planning, especially among the socially conscientious. Today it’s become the defacto solution for those who are interested […]
Prior to 2013, I was considered, by some, to be an adoption activist as I wrote and presented about historic trauma, and the role of legislation in determining legitimacy as a family, a person, a representative of an ethnic group. Adoptions were bad, staying within family/community was good. But then a funny thing happened on […]
I don’t remember the first time someone told me I was White. But I definitely remember the last. It was the summer of my junior year in college and I was a new student orientation leader. My university was diverse but mostly segregated, and this staff was about half White and half Black – plus […]
The metaphor of “coming out” has been used elsewhere as a way to describe the experience of disclosing one’s status as adopted. What do you think about how this metaphor illuminates and distorts being open about one’s adoption experience?
Over here, I pointed to the inexplicable connections with food, other cultures, etc, we can feel as adoptees. This can be where supposedly scientific research comes in to provide a genetic link or some deep, prelingual connection with the womb where we gestated, or where religion comes in to say something about divine providence or […]
Is it possible I like whiskey because my biological parents were Irish? Do I have a greater propensity to speak Romanian because I overheard it in the womb (or even because my mother was Romanian)? Previously (here and here), I asked what kind of narratives we choose (when we choose) to tell ourselves about our […]
From another site, an adoptee seemed to overgeneralize that adoptees become adept at smiling through pain. I addressed that one way here. And while I make an effort to not merely was autobiographical when I post, I have to say this “smiling through pain” business gets me in a very personal way, and it is […]
As an older adoptee, who didn’t address her own adoptee issues, who wasn’t aware of adoptee community and whose grown children also did not benefit from that knowledge and support base, I am very cognizant of all the adoptees who are now raising children of their own. Most of these children of adoptees are bi-racial […]
Knowing what you know now, what would you say to your six year old transracially adopted self? At twelve? At eighteen, etc?
Fellow adoptees: What advice do you have [in terms of language learning, culture shock, etc.] for those who decide to go back for a visit, travel back for an extended stay, or make the decision to definitively return to their place of birth?
Any advice or comments for adoptees processing the passing of an adoptive parent? Have you gone through this, and do you have any thoughts to share on the subject?
For me, these adoptee groups are like taking spoonfuls of bitter medicine. The sharing I do with other adoptees, the reflections of my past, and all the things that I have learned has healed me. Adoption is as varied as shoes, apples or the variety of labels of medication on the shelves of the local […]
Hi, I am a 55 year old adoptee and have been reading here for awhile. I had a friend recommend the book Secret Daughter which is about an adoption from India, and apparently a best seller.I found it a bit superficial from an adoptee point of view. I was wondering if you have read any […]
Dear Fellow Adoptees at Transracialeyes , I am a Chinese American adoptee. I was born in China and adopted when I was about to turn 8 years old. In a few weeks I will be 12 years old. After I entered the orphanage in China I was put into foster care. I lived with my […]