Adoption is complex. All of it. And sometimes we, as adoptees, don’t fully understand how complex it is until we lose our adoptive parents. Because many times, our adoptive parents, good or bad, are the only people who moored us to existence.
It’s been two months since I’ve returned Stateside, and once again I am acutely aware of my sense of belonging in this country. In the corners of New Jersey that I grew up in, I am luckily not made aware of my “painted bird” [link] status. But trips to Eastern Pennsylvania (where my brothers live) […]
Prior to 2013, I was considered, by some, to be an adoption activist as I wrote and presented about historic trauma, and the role of legislation in determining legitimacy as a family, a person, a representative of an ethnic group. Adoptions were bad, staying within family/community was good. But then a funny thing happened on […]
****This is my first post with TRE and I would like to share my gratitude to Daniel and the other contributors for this space. And for you, readers. I have this memory from 3rd grade. On the surface, it’s a fairly mundane image; I am staring at a piece of paper with a large circle […]
This question (superfluous punctuation included) was in our hits based on search phrases. I thought it made for a good question: Why do adoptees cut off contact??????????? [Interpret as you wish.]
Do you believe transracial adoptees do not struggle as much with their cultural identity when they have a sibling who is also adopted from their same cultural background?
My question to you relates to your comment[s] above about foster care [in the previous question]. Would you please elaborate on what you mean by a shift in focus regarding foster care? I should also add that my husband was raised in a foster home for 8 years (ages 6 through 14). He says he […]
This question is a follow-up to the one asking about the orphanage-bestowed name, and its importance; I’d like to expand on this a little bit if I may. In local culture, the question to ask after someone is min aya bayt?—from which house? In this way a [family] name is closely tied to place, and […]
Several months ago I was at a wedding and met some extended family for the first time and some I haven’t seen for many many years. I felt really silly referring to them as my “aunt” or “second cousin” or even “brother”. I mean, aren’t those titles really for the adopted child, to acclimate them […]
I’m curious to know how many of us had to deal with the making of family trees, the looking into family genealogy, the tracing of roots on the adoptive family side and the expectations of us in this regard, compared and contrasted with the aftermath of our decisions to look into our own past and […]
Do you think ALL adoptee’s feel the SAME about their adoption in terms of loss? No doubt there is an initial loss of being separated from the natural family. But do you expect that all adoptee’s are going to feel the same level of loss? What about those who are raised without secrets and lies […]